Metro Card Application

Directions: Circle the answer that best describes you.

1. Are you fluent in 1 of the many Metrocard Machine Languages?
a).Yes 
b) No

2. Does the Metrocard Machine or any other modern machine bamboozle you?
a). No, I'm comfortable with usin it.
b) Not usually, but I get shy when somebody watches me use it. 
c) Yes, especially when the train is pullin up and there are other peeps who are more smart around me.
d) Yes, are there any classes I can take?

3. How is your general hygene?
a). I shower 1 or 2 times a day. 
b) I stand in the shower but don't use soap. 
c) I just spray myself down with Calvin Kline. 
d) I take a bath once a month.

4. On a scale of 1 to 5, how would you say your dental hygene is?
a) I brush 2 or 3 times a day and use mouthwash. 
b) I brush my teeth only at night before I kiss my girlfrind/wife. 
c) I squirt a little tooth paste in my mouth and hope for the best. 
d) I got a toothbrush last year, but I don't use it much.
e) I have fake teeth, and I still don't brush them. 

5. When the train door opens I ... 
a) Let other peeps out, then walk to the middle of the train. 
b) Look around for a seat, cause I need to get ready to sit all day at work. 
c) I cut in front of everybody else to the front of the line and take 1 big step into the train so my fat ass can keep all the other peeps from havin a nice ride, hey at least I'm in. 
d) I would like to move to the middle of the train, but that's too much work.

6. I am love to bump and...
a) I carry my MP3 and bump quietly. 
b) I love to sing along to my favorite old school songs. 
c) I think everybody on the train loves techno as much as me and I will blast my music so everybody can listen to it as well! 
d) I love to spit along loudly with Nelly and 50 Cent on my CD Walkman, who know's maybe a producer from Def Jam or Arista will be on the train. I'm sure they keep contracts in their pockets.

7. True or False? Peeps like it when me and my homegirls talk stupid loud to each other from different parts of the train.
A. True
B. False

8. True or False? If I speak a language other than English, that means my ese and me are the only ones who can dig what's goin on and we can talk about personal things as loud as we want without anybody else knowin what we are sayin.
A. True
B. False

9. True of False? Peeps LOVE to hear me chewin my gum!
A. True
B. False

10. What do you do when you are hungry on a train and you have food with you? 
a) I think it's rude to eat in a train and would wait til I get off the train to eat. 
b) A little snack here or there won't hurt.
c) I like to eat everythin on the train and when I'm done, all I gotta do is throw the trash under the seat.  
d) I like to eat AND make noises.

11. True or False? Lookin for a fresh ring tone for my cell phone in a packed train is a cool way to meet peeps!
A. True
B. False

12. If I see a train has pulled up to the station. I... 
a) Think I'm not gonna make it and wait for the next train. 
b) Think about what I did as a kid when I saw the school bus pullin away and run for it. 
c) I watch Indiana Jones too much and try jumpin between the closin doors. 
d) I send my second cousin, who has longer legs, to run down and hold the door while me, my boo, her neighbor, my aunt, grandmother and Uncle Willy slowly make ther way down to the train.